Off the wagon!

I started my new job this week and the Wii time dwindled to nothing! Working 2 jobs and running a business will wear you THE HELL DOWN. But this is life...

On my new job, I sit in my office and call people on unemployment and try to get them to apply for job matches I find for them. Who knows if they go, hopefully they do. The more critical part for me is that I am in there all day and no one comes in. Its solitary for me. I'm an only child, but there are times when people need human interaction. This would all be negated if I could use facebook while I was talking to folks or could check my email periodically, but that is expressly forbidden.

What do you do on a job where you have no access to people on a regular basis???

Peter's BACK!

Our friend, Peter is back in town. He's been living in Katy, TX with his girlfriend and I guess it didn't really work out or whatever... The bottom line is, Peter is a really cool guy to hang out with and if I know a girl who was seriously looking, I'd be trying to fix her up with Peter! I even have the chance to get my chain-mail jewelry made while he's back in town! Woo Hoo!

Wii

I still love Wii Fit!!!!!!!!! I can't believe this! I have unlocked new games and yoga poses and strength exercises! I rock at Wii Fit! I am doing this for like an hour at a time and I LOVE EXERCISING with Wii Fit. They should put me on a commercial - except not now while I'm still fat, but in like 3 months when people can't believe its me and its all because of Wii Fit!

Seriously, my balance is better, I think I've already lost some inches, and I have more energy than I did just last week. Its kinda scary because maybe my legs will fall off or my arms will turn into big Wii controllers... Oh well, until that happens, I *HEART* Wii Fit.

I *heart* Wii Fit

I am seriously on a Wii Fit binge. I just got the thing to my house and I am over 2 hours on it. OK, it may not be a binge for some people, but I exercised for TWO WHOLE HOURS in two days and anyone who knows me knows this is nothing short of a miracle. It has Yoga, strength, aerobic, and balance exercises. When I am done, I am actually sweating! This thing is great. Also, my San Diego moms have gotten a Wii. I get to send my Mii to their parade and I am so excited! Yes, I'm about a year late, so what?

The more I think about it, this really is an ingenious way to get gamers to exercise, if they don't now. I can't speak for all of them, but Daniel has done Wii Fit several times and doesn't hate it. He even has a couple of records I haven't beaten yet.

I did yoga, hoola hoop, boxing, step, strengthening, and balance exercises today. I have more energy but I still have no idea why this is so blog-worthy. At any rate, we'll see how this goes. How long can someone love a video game?

Oh and I missed gaming yesterday. I'm glad I did because Daniel came over afterward and was like a human popsicle. I don't thing the guy who was hosting wanted to turn on his heat - YIKES! it was like 45 degrees last night!!!!!

Exhausted

People, I am exhausted. I was on my feet for 8 hours today and will be there again on Friday! This means that this weekend will be full of absolutely NOTHING! No gaming for me...

Gone for a long time

Yes, its been a while. We now have a new president-elect, Barack Obama (Neutral Good, I guess), the old President is in serious lame duck status yet still wreaking havoc (damned if he's not Chaotic Neutral surrounded by Lawful Evil), and I have been gaming sporadically for the last few months. Its not that I don't like the people - they are all funny as hell and pretty dang smart. I'm just not good at this. I forget my dice, forget my character binder, run late, and have to fight the urge to talk through the whole game. Plus our group is not the most decisive bunch. I think several of us are really only there for the social aspect - and who wouldn't be? Come on, Doug might hurt his knee and be high on pain killers again, and no one wants to miss that!

I will probably play like once a month and spur on the action, but then again, I may show up more often. It depents on how I feel. I've also got a lot of business stuff to do. I have a website to finish that I have really put off, new trips to price, and the need to seriously hustle in some new customers. We are also approaching the looming December 5 deadline for engagement, so gaming may go away completely - we'll see soon...

Overthinking or Underthinking

I have come to realize that I over think decisions in this game when they should be simple and I under think things that require just a bit more thought. I am so busy trying to figure out the freakin' mechanics, I miss great opportunities. I am hoping that as I learn the game more, the mechanics will get easier for me. Until then, I think I'll just drink a martini.

Races and Classes

Its time to tell you about Races and Classes. Creating a character is almost baffling if you're new because there were so many choices for races, sub-races, and classes. Its not like just choosing between being Black, Latino, Asian, or White. These are physically different races so its like choosing among Humans, Vulcans, Klingons, Wookies, Menbari, and Centari. Within each race, there are sub-races. For example, you'll generally know elves from the LOTR trilogy and other fantasy books, movies, or games. But did you know there are Wood Elves, Sea Elves, Dark Elves, Shadow Elves, High Elves, Winged Elves, Star Elves, Sun Elves, and more??? Neither did I until I sat down to make a character. They all have different abilities and limitations according to their sub-race. The base D&D races are Humans, Dwarves, Gnomes, Halflings, Half Elves, Half Dragons, Warforges, Half Vampires, and Half Orcs. There are tons more races you can play, all with specific details and head-spinning racial abilities. Needless to say, I turned to the GM for help. I'm glad the GM loves me...

There are also four different base classes, most of which are self explanatory. Warriors, Mages, Thieves, and Priests. The classes break down into sub-classes as follows

• Warriors - Barbarians, Fighters, Rangers, Monks, Samurai, Hexblades, and Paladins
• Mages - Wizards, Sorcerors, Beguilers, War Mages, Duskblades, and Warlocks
• Thieves - Rogues, Bard, Scouts, Mariners, Ninjas (DAMN THEM!!!!) and Spell Thieves
• Priests - Clerics, Druids, Dragon Shamans, Favored Souls, and Mystics

Is your head spinning? Mine was too when I sat down to develop a character. Needless to say I am not explaining all these in detail and just thinking about trying to do that makes me want a drink. Is that wrong at 11:00 AM? Moving on... Despite the fact that this is all complex gamers love their races and classes. They will discuss the pros and cons ad nauseum. A new gamer will inevitably miss the nuances of race and class in character development and then will inevitably have a tough time when adding alignments on top of all this. Its enough to drive me Winehouse or Spears or even Dickinson. While I'm moving toward batty, gamers are developing stronger characters, with specific development goals do achieve specific attack abilities. There are several discussion boards dedicated to achieving unbelievable characters with sensational attacks. I can't and I won't. There are some things I have to let go and let goddess...

The GM is setting us up

On Sunday, we had a nice, calm day. Our characters all helped deliver some freight to a city north along the river. Nothing major happened and we had the opportunity to leave our boat to learn about the little city. I followed and NPC named Anna and learned about these black obelisks which are situated throughout the valley. It turns out they are all magical and help control the weather. (These things would be crazy valuable in Texas since if you don't like the weather here, you just wait 5 minutes and you'll get the exact opposite. Except in summer, when you boil in humidity and fry in the sun at the same time. Back to the story...) Nothing special happened and no one even approached us - even though there are gangs in the city and everyone knows we aren't 'from around here'.

Now as anyone knows, there is always calm before the storm and the GM will always lull you into complacency before laying the smack down. Next week, will have our asses handed to us - properly, likely on a silver platter! Check back and see how this plays out. We may all be rolling new characters...

N-G Update
Rolling characters - In D&D, your character has six main ability base stats, which control all other abilities. These are:

1. constitution (Con) - how healthy and tough you are. A sick person has a low Con is low and a healthier person's Con is higher.
   
2. intelligence(Int) - basically your IQ and reasoning ability. Dumb criminals have low Int. Ghandi had a high Int.
   
3. dexterity(Dex) - your agility/balance/hand-eye coordination and overall nimbleness. Elephants have low Dex. Monkeys have high Dex.
   
4. wisdom(Wis) - intuitiveness, judgement and will power. Children have low Wis. Most adults have higher Wis, but then there's Justin...
   
5. strength(Str) - physical strength including endurance and stamina. Boxers have high Str. A pregnant would generally have low Str.
   
6. charisma(Cha) - your physical attractiveness and persuasiveness, basically your personal magnetism. Brad Pitt, Halle Berry, and Boris Kodjoe all have crazy high Cha. Flavor Flav has the lowest Cha possible.
   

Traditionally you rolled 3d6 to determine your stats. Now there are also point-buy systems in which you have a total number of points to allocate among your stats however you choose. There are also tons of feats and abilities such as disguise, use rope, swim, etc which have +/- modifiers but we'll get to those later. Some GMS make you roll, some prefer point-buy, but its all called rolling a new character. Its not difficult to do, but if your character dies and no one can resurrect you, you have to roll a new character. That disrupts game play so its a pain either way.

Alignments

In the D&D world, there is a concept called character alignment. This basically defines how the character should behave and should guide the character's actions. Here are descriptions of each alignment with a familiar character to help you understand the differences:

1. Lawful good - This type of character follows the letter and spirit of the law. They don't lie, cheat, steal, or leave an injured person behind AND they will make personal sacrifice to help others. Jack (on Lost) and David Boreanaz as ANGEL are Lawful Good.
   
2. Neutral good - These characters will generally do good actions regardless of the law. If the law is oppressive, break it as long as you are doing good work. Ghandi was Neutral Good
   
3. Chaotic Good - He can be a rebel and does the right thing to make social change, no matter what the lay of the land is. Robin Hood is Chaotic Good
   
4. Lawful Neutral - Jack Bauer and Lost's Sayid are soldiers who follow all orders. Good and evil are not their worries, rather, they are bound by honor and order. For this reason, they are Lawful Neutral.
   
5. Neutral - Han Solo is Neutral. Not good or evil. Not Lawful or unlawful. Just neutral on all fronts. He became more lawful good after that whole freezing incident, but who wouldn't?
   
6. Chaotic Neutral - On Lost, Hurley is Chaotic Neutral and so is Cap'n Jack Sparrow. They don't want to cause harm to others nor do they really care about the law. They are free spirits and act out of self-interest.
   
7. Lawful Evil - Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men is chillingly lawful evil. He has his own code based on when or when not to kill. Other people live or die by it, but he keeps his word and kills when his code tells him to kill.
   
8. Neutral Evil - Lost's Sawyer is this alignment. They will only do harmful acts when it benefits them but won't be bothered if they don't. They form temporary alliances and likely to sit out major fights or battles if they have nothing to gain. Keep them at arm's length and know that they will turn on you once they have what they need.
   
9. Chaotic Evil - These crazy bastards will chop your head off just for the hell of it. Only fear keeps them in line and they're too crazy to fear much. Keep one eye on them and move quick if you see them headed toward you. Lex Luthor and David Boreanaz as ANGELOUS are Chaotic Evil.
   

This is why I'm a noob...

Alright, when we last left off in the adventure, my group of 4 was trying to get an unconscious spy back to our ship without drawing attention...

WHAT WE DID
We disguise the person, two of us disguise ourselves, and the we duck in and out of alleys, down streets, and around buildings, etc to try to get her back for interrogation. After all that, we had to get by a guarded tower up to our ship. Well, eventually - after a bunch of really odd behavior which would call attention to ANYONE, we got back to the ship, but lost the unconcious spy...

WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE DONE
Two of us can cast invisibility spells. We should have made the entire party invisible and walked back undetected with no problem. DUH!!!! This occurs to me only AFTER getting back to the ship and lamenting all the errors in our general strategy.

We spent like 2 hours trying to get back to that damn ship and bring the spy with us. We could have walked right in undetected and it would have taken 1/5 of the time if we were invisible. GOOD GRIEF!!!!

I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell. I will use my invisible spell.

We'll do better next time.

More ass-kicking to come

This week Daniel was walking around having little adventures by himself and cackling to himself. I have learned that this usually means our group is going to catch some hell. I don't know what we have to do, but its going to be rough. We usually don't discuss D&D too much during the week, other than if my character needs to shop or I need him to tell me where to find stuff in one of his books. His cackling left me uneasy...

Gamers love their books. These books are hard-cover textbooks; the heart and soul of the game. They rely on them for order and logic. When a new rules book surfaces, gamers will make their way to the game store the day its released to the public because they have to plan the next campain adventure arond this new book. Many gamers get the info online before its even sold publicly and then buy the book for future reference because one day someone will ask a question or challenge a rule and they can't get to a computer - but the book will be there. There are discussion boards for groups who discuss these books to debate the nuances of each rule so that there is a "we're all on the same page" understanding. There are volumes and volumes of these books all with necessary information depending on your campaign setting. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TRY TO PLAY THIS GAME WITHOUT THE BOOKS. Without these books, the game goes to hell. Even with them it goes to hell sometimes. Players will try to use the books to rules-rape their way into a character who will in time be more powerful than super culinary/comedy god Anthony Bourdain, or sexy news god Keith Olbermann or hunky actor god Denzel Washington, or young up-and-coming-dancing-cutie god Chris Brown, or teen-alien god Jason Behr (I think I've made my point). Where was I??? Oh yeah, the books. If you don't follow the rules in the books, someone's head will explode. And no one wants that.

N-G Follow-Up

• Campaign - no, its not like politics. A role-playing campaign is a connected series of adventures played with the same characters. Its like a soap opera where the writers keep kicking people's asses on a regular basis. Only in the game, the GM is the writer and we get our asses kicked by NPCs.
• Rules-rape - yes, that is an overly harsh way of saying that someone is outrageously violating the rules to develop a super-powerful character. This does not make GMs happy and they will continue to kick everyone's characters' asses until the violator gets it in gear. This can be an agonizingly long time since the violators never think they're the problem and will usually argue with the GM, thus inviting more ass kickings.
  

More on People

OK, so more people...

Erin-this is me. In my spare time I enjoy pondering the big, important questions in life like, "What is my true purpose on Earth", "If Daniel married me, would we kill each other after a year?" or "I wonder if that drag queen's breasts are real?"
Justin - the asshole. He wants to be "Mr. Funtime", witty and quick, but he's more of an annoyance than he realizes. I don't know what he does for a living and I'm fine with that.
Kathy - She's a database specialist and the only other girl in our group. She's been playing for about two years, I think and she's pretty cool. She keeps me honest and she'll probably try to break my OCD, but that won't happen soon. Our characters work together as an assassin team - we kick ass.
Michael - He's an engineer who is a recent newlywed. He's very quick-witted and always has a smile or a laugh AND his wife is always sending something she baked. If I hang around him long enough, I'll gain all my weight back...
Paul - Paul hosts our game each week and I think he's an engineer, too. Paul is a very thoughtful person and is VERY helpful for some like me who hasn't played long. He's also the best with one-liners.

We game again tomorrow and I don't think Justin will be there. Should be a productive game session.

Back in action

So, I have been absent for about 2 weeks and here's the scoop... So, remember how I said there was a jerky kinda guy in our gamer group right now? Well, things came to a head for me about two weeks ago. Its not that this kid is bad, its just that he REALLY NEEDS attention and well, I am the gamer diva with the GM boyfriend. Who would really think that could fly with me? This kid is perfectly aggravating with his attempts to be the "funny, cool guy". So I completely lost my cool and had to skip a week to get my act together. The skipped week was good for me because I got a pedicure AND went shoe shopping!!! Also, a couple of people said that they wanted me to come back and it felt good to know I was at least missed and that they weren't just putting up with me because I was the GM's girlfriend.

I returned on Sunday and helped my group catch a spy who was following us. I ROCKED - I faded into shadow, climbed up a building, ambushed the spy and beat her with with my sap. I was able to subdue her long enough for the rest of my group to get to us and get her tied up. We now have to figure out some way to get her back to our boat. The best part is, the kid who was so disruptive has to be in character the whole time. The game went so much better and I really felt like I did something for once. Also, rather than stand around talking, I took my own car and was able to leave when it was over. I love talking, but not at 10 PM on a work night... (yes, I am old. what of it?)

OK, so its about time you hear about some of the people in our group.
Clay - he was the GM for the last game this group played (before Daniel and I joined). He does IT something or other and is basically a repository for any kind of information you need. Its really uncanny all the info he's got in his head from chemistry to anime. He is my new go-to guy when I need to prove I am right.
Daniel - he's my boyfriend and the GM. He accidentally glued a skeleton to his finger once. I laughed, he got mad, I took a picture.
Doug - Doug is an engineer and is running a game before Daniel's. He hurt his knee and a few weeks ago and got high on pain pills. He's normally pretty funny and VERY quick-witted. He was even funnier high. I hope he's in pain again soon.

Serious Combat, cont'

So, we start the game with Daniel explaining lots of data. Once I have all the info I can process, my brain shuts off. And Daniel kept on talking. Then he talked some more. Then we started - when we did, he needed to explain just a few more things. It felt like the whole thing took about 5 hours - it was actually 30 minutes.

Combat finally begins. People are fighting on 3 fronts and Daniel asks me to track Initiative. WTF?!?!? How do I do that?!?! Why do I have to do that!?!?! I get all the character names and people start telling me how to do it. Daniel says one thing, Paul says another and someone else says something else. I go with Paul - he's the sanest of those offering "guidance". So we shoot and cast spells and grapple on board a boat that is flying and the wind is making us work extra hard. One player keeps talking and I literally cannot hear what others are doing. At one point in the game when I am feeling especially frustrated, I ask for help and Daniel tells me I should have read the book while another player tells me "that's why they teach English, so we can read!"This kid does not know me, we are not friends, and quite frankly from what I understand, most of the other gamers aren't too fond of him either. Just after 10:00 at the end of the round, I tell Daniel its time to go. I am fuming so I put my purse in the car and go back in to help Dan. While I'm inside I start packing things and Paul and I get into an impromptu religion/race/general heavy topic discussion. I don't like to talk like this without really devoting the time to have a quiet, open, honest discussion, and I think Paul is a really cool guy so I hope we get the chance to talk again - but maybe due to my aggravation and all the misc people milling about, it just felt awkward and REALLY made me want to leave.

My aggravation clearly stemmed from embarrassment and not knowing what to do next. Part of this derives from Daniel telling me he would teach me what I need to know and I should ask the players for help to fill in the gaps. My issue now is do I really want to devote the time it takes to learn this game, think through strategies, and deal with this asshole - all for an indefinite amount of time?

N-G Follow-up

• Initiative - Each player rolls Initiative on a D-20 die. The numbers rolled from highest to lowest determine the order in which players take actions in combat. When you hear the GM say, "everyone roll initiative," you know the ass-kicking will commence soon.

Serious Combat

So, at the end of the game, there were two war ships bearing down on us. We were about to enter combat and I had no idea what to do...

I am glad we had a week to think this through - except that I spent no time thinking about this. My character has all kinds of spells and skills and I don't really know how to use them. My character could actually be mortally wounded. That would really suck.

My game preparation this week consisted of getting cute frosted dice to play with. (Thanks, Daniel!) Also, I read the list of spells my character could use while Daniel was doing character updates. Then I played 'Portal' and 'Endless Ocean'. Daniel's game prep consisted of buying more miniatures, buying card holders for his miniatures' collectible cards, updating NPCs & PCs, referring to the Monster Manuals a lot, giggling to himself when thinking of his game, building massive Excel spreadsheets to calculate our mph on the ship (and distance traveled during each 6-second round), and finding just the right topographical map to be sure we understood the hazards our little journey include. I hope other folks have put more into game prep that I have...

Non-gamer update:

• Spells - you know, like in that movie Practical Magic. Each player gets spells according to your level and you have to have proper components to cast them although sometimes the cast just doesn't work out and you turn your arm into a giant pen or snake or sandwich.
• Miniatures collectible cards - these cards look like baseball cards and contain stats about each monster/beast/humanoid. They help the GM figure out the most efficient monster to use to shred you the fastest.

Pre-Game Stuff

Happy Easter everyone!

After taking me to breakfast, Daniel returned to his home to prepare for the game. Today's preparations for me consisted of writing this blog; for him, finding more miniatures to use in the game and drawing a replica of the boat we're on so that we have a more accurate depiction of our positions on the hex map. I've watched Daniel as he's planned for games in the past. Any time he starts digging through his miniatures, the party gets creamed like spinach. Ok, maybe not creamed, but at least beaten to a frothy end like meringue. Clearly this means for us that we will face combat and hopefully our characters will live through it. I'm ready - I have my dice, my lemon water, my snacks, and hey, what's the worst that could happen? (Oh, no! I didn't say that, I didn't say that, I didn't say that. Damn, I said it - no one tell Anthony Bourdain...)

Non-gamer follow-up:

• Miniatures - You've seen them in dioramas for years. They're tiny immobile action figures usually mounted on a base so they stand alone. The base also helps you stick them to things temporarily. Once, my boyfriend super-glued a skeleton warrior to his finger while repairing it. Each character has a miniature representing it, so opponents, monsters, player characters, and NPCs will have representations on the hex map. Gamers buy these regularly depending on what the need and Daniel has hundreds. From 1-inch to 6-inches, they all sit on the living room shelf, or in boxes, or in divided containers, looking at us as we eat, watch TV or play video games.
  
• Hex Map - I'm even confused on this one. Its basically a huge grid the GM uses to display the party's location relative to other party members, opponents, etc. The can draw topography or whatever else they need directly on the map. Daniel's is vinyl, which works just fine with his multiple wet-erase markers. I just don't get is why this thing is called a hex map, since the grid is made of squares.
  
• Combat - Yep, its a fight. But very organized and played out step by step. Players roll a specific die (one of many) to determine the action sequence. They then, on their turn (which counts for about 6 seconds of time), roll the same die to determine if they land a blow. Finally they roll another die (sometimes 2 or more) to determine how much damage is done. It's all fairly complicated if you're not a gamer and this should not be attempted without guidance. You'll mess around and blow your own arm off or you'll roll the wrong die and the world will come to a screeching halt. Combat is dangerous.
• Dice - These aren't just the 6-sided dice you use in Vegas. Those are too simple for this game. There are numerous dice, used for different reasons. The D4 looks like a 3-sided pyramid with 3 numbers on each side the highest # shown is 4. The D6 is what most people know. Its got 6 sides and the highest number shown is 6. The D8 has a 3-d diamond shape. Its like two 4-sided pyramids mounted base to base (an octahedron). The highest number shown is 8. The D10 is a decahedron and looks like two 5-sided carnival tents mounted base to base. It has 10 sides and th highest number shown is a 9. (Ha, I caught you off guard there...) The Percentage die looks just like the D10, just a little smaller, well at least mine is smaller. It starts with 00 and works up to 90 by 10s. A D12 die is a dodecahedron. Each side is a pentagon with the largest number shown being 12. The D20 is the most regularly used die during the game. It, of course, has 20 sides and is an icosahedron (yeah, I used the proper name - eat your hearts out!). Its used for spot checks, determining your success at spells, bluffs, attacks, etc. Rolling a 1 is the worst for any situation and rolling a 20 makes everyone happy. One member of our group, Paul, is fond of saying that rolling 1s makes things more interesting and challenging. Forget that - give me boring and easy - I want 20s.

Game Preparations

So, my boyfriend (Daniel, the GM) and I begin our game preparations for tomorrow. Mine consists of asking him to remind me what happened last week and trying to figure out how to get my party into some action before the GM starts dropping anvils from the sky. Daniel's consisted of reading the Monster Manual - we are so screwed.

Hmmm - some of that confused you non-gamers, didn't it? Gamers, at the end of each post I'll attempt to explain things and make them clearer for the non-gamer. However, inasmuch as I'm, not a big gamer myself, I need will need you to assist me. NOTE I said ASSIST me, not EMBARRASS me...

1. Game - In this game, we play Dungeons and Dragons. We are pretending to be on the fictional world of Eberron. This is an RPG(Role-Play Game). We put ourselves in the position of our characters and try to think through what they would do and make moves, alliances, etc based on what they would do. We are not LARPers (Click that link for some hot Live-Action Role Player action). These are the folks you see in the costumes with foam, wooden, or cardboard weapons. At their core, LARPers are improv actors with a theme. Those folks are hard-core and I don't have that much energy (or time). There are 7 players in our party. My character wants to kill 1 of them. Coincidentally, I personally want to...well, that's a whole other issue...
   
2. Characters - its like a movie or a play. We make up characters and assign them (through a point system) attributes we think will be helpful. NON-GAMERS PLEASE NOTE: RPGers and LARPersGamers are the OG's of gaming. They say what they want and don't give a bit of a damn what you think. They are honest to a fault and will boggle your mind with a combination of logic, rules, and otherworldly theories. They will kill you with brain overload if you're not careful. (I've seen grisly death with my own two eyes!) Sitting with a group of these gamers can be exhausting, but don't sleep these are not the punk-ass console and computer gamers. They simply play what someone else has programmed. THESE FOLKS ARE the program and if you forget if for a second you are toast. Your character better rock!
   
3. GM - The Game Master. This is the guy who plans the game, controls the game, and voices the non-player charaters (like extras in a movie). He works really hard to be sure player characters (lead and supporting movie roles) get the crap beat out of them, miss some major point which will cause them trouble later, or misstep and die. He writes the plot, rolls dice of his own for the non-player charcters, makes a map or other supporting pieces, and puts out all the minaitures so players get a visual idea of whats happeneing. Usually this guy has a ton of books, knows the rules by memory and got this way by learning this game while non-gamers were wasting time getting drunk, clubbing, fighting, partying, or other useless socializing over the years. Gamers socialize with a purpose and all that other crap is beneath many of them.
4. Action - basically don't stand around debating for a long time. Pick a direction, a weapon, a spell, or something and go with it. Inaction annoys most GMs and they will punish you for it. Daniel likes to make things fall from the sky...
   
5. Monster Manual - There are dozens, probably hundreds of books that explain the rules, characters, weapons, Gods, and backgrounds of D&D or D&D-based games. And yes, there are actually 5 books that list monsters, their strengths, weaknesses, and where they live on fictional worlds and planes. Every GM has at least one Monster Manual. It helps him punish you. Thank goodness the GM loves me...
   

Who am I?

My name is Nadka. Well, its Neelia. No, its Sunshine. OK - my given name is Erin and I now have 4 names. Nadka is my Umbragen assassin from Eberron. Neelia is my Troll Mage from World of Warcraft. I don't remember where Sunshine came from but she really kicks ass!

I vaguely remember how I got all these names and when I started playing all these games. I don't remember what made an MBA with her own business try to game with folks who've been doing this for years. I don't have the time to perfect stuff they've learned over many, many years. While I was dating, partying, drinking and traveling, these folks were slaving away over hex maps and computers, over books and miniatures, honing their craft so that any military strategist would be hard pressed to figure out how to beat them (on a theoretical basis). The bottom line is I haven't gotten a solid hold on any of these games. I am a noob(newbie). I roll 1's and have no idea why that's bad. I have never read the player's manual. And I damn sure don't intend to spend my spare time on non-travel books. I see you're confused; so am I.

I'll take you with me you through the world of RPG so you can learn what mistakes not to make, what REALLY annoys gamers, and what gamers like. Yes, I'll stumble my way through it so you don't have to. Thank goodness my boyfriend's the GM...